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In Memoriam:

Things have been indescribably difficult this past week. Not only is it finals week, but I’m struggling with a “friend” who suddenly turned around and hates me for no apparent reason. It’s very hard to live when your nerves are frayed and you know that there is someone out there who deliberately wants to make you cry and hurt over yourself. There’s just something about today’s internet obsession that gives people a cold, steely edge to themselves. I already don’t have a good self-image, and it boggles my mind when people deliberately try to make it worse for others online. I’ve never done anything to hurt this person, I’ve only treated this person with kindness, but all I get are waves of pain and self-doubt in return. It’s especially awful when you were depending on this person’s help in the future, and now I’m alone and abandoned, without any of the help I will undoubtedly need. Suicide constantly throbs through my mind and I’ve tried it more times than I can count.

However, all of this takes a backseat when reading about the deaths that have hit the classic film community these past several days.

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Eleanor Parker (1922-2013)
Eleanor Parker, one of the most elegant and celebrated film actresses of the classic movie era, passed away on December 9th at age 91 due to complications of pneumonia. Her most recognizable role is that of Elsa Schraeder in The Sound of Music (which recently had a pretty awful live television revival starring Carrie Underwood, but I digress). I also enjoyed Parker in The King and Four Queens, which was the only film produced by Clark Gable. The story of the film took place in the wild west, and consisted of Gable romancing four incredibly sexually frustrated sisters who are squashed under the thumb of their overprotective, smack-talking, gun-toting mother. And no, this isn’t a made-up summary.

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Audrey Totter (1917-2013)
Audrey Totter passed away on December 12th at 95 due to a stroke. Totter was well-known for her femme fatale roles during the 1940s and early 1950s. During the mid-1950s onwards, Totter branched out to work predominantly in radio shows and television. My personal favorites of Totter’s films are The Postman Always Rings Twice and Any Number Can Play.

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Peter O’Toole (1932-2013)
What can I even say? The man is a legend. After a long battle with illness, O’Toole passed away on December 14th at age 81. I enjoyed his performances in The Lion in the Winter and How to Steal a Million, and when I found out that he was the voice of Anton Ego (the restaurant critic in the Pixar film Ratatouille) I flipped in delight (or I tried to anyway). O’Toole was a powerhouse. Even though his health wasn’t always up to par throughout his life, he still worked until the very end. Unfortunately and shamefully, I’ve never seen his greatest film, Lawrence of Arabia, BUT TCM will be showing it on December 29th at 8PM in honor of O’Toole, so if you haven’t seen this film either, get on that with me!

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Joan Fontaine (1917-2013)
Joan Fontaine passed away in her sleep on December 15th at age 96 due to natural causes. I think that Fontaine’s death hit me the hardest, since she was someone who I always thought would outlive even me! Many of Fontaine’s films have made a great impression on me. Rebecca is and always will be one of my favorites, and I also loved her in Suspicion, The Women, and Gunga Din. Fontaine’s feud with her older sister Olivia de Havilland has become the stuff of Hollywood legend. However, de Havilland has released a statement saying that she was “shocked and saddened” by the death of her younger sister, from whom she was estranged for many years. My favorite play heavily incorporates the story of Rebecca into its plot, and now I know that next time I’m seeing this show and I hear Fontaine’s famous “last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again…” speech coming over the speakers, it will never be the same…

These deaths are without a doubt difficult to cope with for people who were born in the wrong era (like you and me). It’s especially difficult because classic film stars were made to look like gods and goddesses. They were always elegant and perfect. Just looking at their glamour portraits, it’s easy to see that the film stars of yesteryear were meant to exude an aura of immortality. And if you’re like me, you fall right into it. I still speak about stars who have been dead for many years in the present tense. However, death is inevitable, and luckily for us, these people left a body of great works that will live on forever.

A Post About Many Things

This post is going to pretty much be exactly like my mind: a jumbled up chaotic mess that jumps back and forth between 650 topics at once.

First off, today is a really sobering day for me. Clark Gable died 53 years ago today. As many of you know, Gable was the star who first got me into classic Hollywood. I began to watch his films at a time in my life when I stuck out like a sore thumb (and not in a good way) at my rich, shallow girls Catholic high school. I did not fit into any of the criteria that made a girl “popular” at that school: my family wasn’t exorbitantly wealthy, I didn’t wear the right designer labels, I didn’t have a Blackberry (Blackberries were cool back in 2007), I wasn’t stick-thin, I wasn’t some Italian princess, I didn’t have long spaghetti-straight hair (I had a short chin-length bob then. Now my hair is down almost to my elbows! But it’s still as big and as curly as ever.) and I didn’t party much at all. In many ways, I’m still that friendless, lonely, quiet girl. Because I’m from Brooklyn, people tend to think I should be loud and flamboyant all the time, but most of the time I actually don’t really speak. I’m that girl that sits in the corner of the bus, her eyes downcast, blasting a loud, eclectic mix of rock and rap through her headphones, and reading a book that’s well over a thousand pages. And even though I tend not to trust people easily and I choose not to connect with them on any level whatsoever, I feel like the Clark Gable that lived so large both inside and outside of his films is the friend I’ve never found amongst the living. A man who has been dead for over half a century still resonates with me more deeply than many of the shallow, silly, pointless souls that walk the earth today. He, to me, is more alive than a good 90% of my generation: all fakers and posers and idiot savants. One of the reasons I want to travel back in time so badly is that there were people like Gable who were so genuine…how many genuine people do you know today? Unfortunately, I can count them on just one hand. In short, it is very easy to be saddened by the death of your favorite classic star. But you should always remember how beautiful they were in life and what they did for you.

The second thing that’s weighing heavily on my mind is my novel. Writing would be so much easier if I had the time and support. I’d much rather be writing about what’s in my heart than punching out articles about topics I don’t much care about. But I just don’t have the time to continue with it anymore, because alas, I am getting graded on the quality of my articles and not on the quality of the scribblings in my little black Moleskine leather notebook. I also feel uninspired. I have no motivation, no muse, no creative impetus. I feel that no one is encouraging me to continue writing, so what’s the point? I am very very VERY strongly considering abandoning the whole stinking project, ripping and shredding all the pages in my notebook, and permanently deleting everything on my laptop. I kinda want to publish an excerpt on here before I would do something so painful as destroying my own work, but I have a fear of publishing creative work on the Internet because¬† I always have the thought of people just copy/pasting it and then slapping their own name onto it. I am also deeply sensitive about others reading my work. People have contacted me privately asking to read what I’ve got, but I always come up with a hundred different excuses because I’m that damn shy. Clearly, my feelings about writing and sharing my work are contradicting themselves…maybe that’s just the thing creative people go through. But I’m not that good anyway, I may as well just destroy my work and save the world from reading just another cringingly awful story.

On a much lighter note, I went to see Macklemore and Ryan Lewis in concert last night and it was absolutely the best ever. At the end of the show, Macklemore jumped into the crowd and called for everyone to get out of their seats, flood the aisles, and carry him back as he crowdsurfed. I was trampled, punched, kicked, and elbowed in the mosh pit, but I trampled, punched, kicked, and elbowed back and I was able to get within a foot of Macklemore’s perfect being. Now, I am practically crippled and I have a voice as hoarse and crackly as that of a pubescent 12 year-old boy (damaged my throat screaming my lungs out for him), but it was SO worth it. The man can put on a good show, and he is magnificent.

The last thing that’s gnawing away at my mind is that I’m going to study abroad in Australia this January (Yes, you read right. Yes, I’m nuts.) Tomorrow is my orientation, and I’m SHITTING BRICKS OF FEAR. I’m going to learn about my registration, my housing there, visa and flight info, etc. What if I have to have a roommate? What if my roommate is a roommate from hell? What if the Australians laugh at me and rip me off once I open my mouth and they hear the brassy Brooklyn accent? What if I get lost when navigating the city all alone? What if I get kidnapped and raped when navigating the city all alone? What if my fucking plane crashes and I die? Now that I’ve got only a month and a half before I’m amongst the people of Down Under, I’m getting really, really nervous. Half of me is scared, but half of me remembers that I’m from Brooklyn and Brooklynites are the toughest, most thick-skinned people on earth. I can probably assimilate in a snap, but still…it will be an adventure nonetheless! Maybe the hardest part for me will be to try not to smuggle home a cute little koala!

I Need Your Help!

Good morning, my lovely dames and gents!

As many of you might know, I’m a 20 year-old college student (who’s graduating next year…YIKES). But some of you might not know that I am a journalism major (joy of joys…). There’s one article I’m working on now that’s about the city council candidates for my neighborhood and it’s AWFUL because dealing with politicians and their people is more painful than having your eyes slowly poked out by thousands and thousands of tiny little needles.

But there is another article I’m working on for my magazine journalism class that I’m extremely excited about! My professor (who is cool and British) allowed me to write my article on whatever I wanted, so I chose to write about silent films :)

My article is to be an investigative piece that’s about 2000 words. What will I be saying about silent films?
-Will the appeal for silent films survive the next 50 years?
-How important are silent films now?
-How have silent films influenced today’s films?
-Do you think people will make silent films again?

So here’s where you lovely people come in! I’m going to need interviews for my article. Lots and lots of interviews. So if you love silent films and want to gush endlessly about them to someone who loves silent films just as much as you do, NOW IS YOUR CHANCE! Whether you are a reader of my blog, a silent film fan who stumbled across this post, or even a silent film historian, your opinion is important to me! And you don’t have to be living in NYC, you can be from anywhere in the world. The final product will be published on this blog :)

If you’re interested, please email me using the email address on my Contact page. Any help will be appreciated! If there’s one thing I’m sure of, it’s that all my readers are intelligent and will have nothing but the best things to say!

Garbo Dreams

Hey everyone!

I posted about the immersive theater production “Garbo Dreams” earlier today. I’ve heard nothing but great things about this play, and if you are both a classic film nerd and a theater nerd (like yours truly), this is a must for you! So here it is, so sit back, relax, and enjoy the show!

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“Garbo Dreams” Tonight at 8!

Hey kittens!

Tonight we’re going to get a very special treat from the lovely actress (and reader of this blog) Lauren Lo Giudice! Lauren’s acclaimed site-specific play “Garbo Dreams,” which invites the audience into Greta Garbo’s mysterious life, is premiering tonight at 8 in the MASQ Lounge here in NYC.

But for those of you who do not live in New York, have no fear! The show will be broadcasting live on this blog at 8 PM! So tune in right here in another 11 hours for an awesome theater experience right from the comfort of your own home!

“Garbo Dreams” takes you into a day in the last years of Greta Garbo’s life. Garbo was famous (or infamous) for her complete seclusion and reclusiveness. After all, “she wanted to be alone.” But now the audience gets to play voyeur. What was Garbo like without all the Hollywood lights?

To find out, come here at 8 to watch! Lauren will also be doing a live Q&A after the show, so stay for that too! This will be a lot of fun! And by the way, looking at the promotional pictures, Lauren looks EXACTLY like the Great Garbo:

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Why Is My Life So Awful???

For those of you who might be having a bad day, here’s a rundown of what’s going on in my life to make you feel better:

1) I’m planning to spend part of 2014 traveling the world and studying abroad. After months of begging and pleading and finally convincing my parents, I am, of course, having trouble renewing my passport because of this fucking government shutdown. I went to the post office yesterday to pick up the renewal form and schedule an appointment, but instead all I got was some bored lady telling me that they can’t process anything because everything is closed. So then I had to call the New York Passport Agency to schedule an appointment with them, but in order for them to issue a passport to anyone, you need to present evidence that you are traveling within two weeks. I am not leaving the country until 2014, but my applications need for me to make a copy of the photo page of my passport by October 18th. My appointment is October 16th. If the agency decides not to process my passport overnight, I’m screwed. I’m fucking sick of conservatives making this country look like a fucking joke.

2) I took my passport photos yesterday and dolled myself up so I can actually look good in this one (my old passport photo was taken before I got contacts. I had to take off my glasses and of course I couldn’t see shit, so I looked like a deer in the headlights, with my eyes the size of saucers). Despite the ages I took applying my makeup and styling my hair in perfect Dita Von Teese waves, I still managed to look like an escaped criminal in the photos. How is it that a person can look one way in the mirror but look COMPLETELY different in a photo? I’m so ugly I can’t even stand the sight of my own face. If only plastic surgery was affordable.

3) I had to do a voice-over narration for my multimedia journalism class. My voice is hideous. Absolutely hideous. I’ve never liked the sound of my own voice and I never will. I’m 20 years old yet I still sound like a goddamn child. Every time I pick up the phone and it’s a flippin’ telemarketer, they always ask me if my mommy or daddy is home and I fume into a silent rage before hanging up in their faces. I wish I could have a rich speaking voice, like Joan Crawford or Norma Shearer.

4) My body image has gotten worse, if that’s possible. Since I started school, I know I gained all the weight I lost through my summer starvation diet. However, my family is telling me that I haven’t gained any weight, but they’re my family, so they’re supposed to say that. I don’t want to talk to my friends about it because I don’t want them to know about my body insecurities. There is a gorgeous vintage dress that I’m just dying to buy, but because it’s a straight silhouette I know it will hug every. single. ugly. curve. It will highlight my butt, my hips, and my boobs and quite frankly that scares me because I am not a size 0. I am also eying these matching vintage shoes, but the heels are three inches tall, which will turn this 5’5″ dame into a 5’8″ Amazon woman :(

5) There is so much schoolwork I need to do, yet I’ve got no motivation to do it. I don’t want to interview strangers about our local representative running for City Council Speaker. I’m almost positive that no one in my neighborhood of Bay Ridge, Brooklyn, even knows who our representative is.¬† All I want to do is curl up somewhere cozy and finish reading Crime and Punishment dammit. Can’t a girl just find out what’s happening with Raskolnikov?

6) My novel is NOT coming along swimmingly. Writing is so hard. I constantly suffer from writer’s block and an inability to find the right words to express my thoughts. I constantly worry that I’m going either too fast or too slow in my plot, or that my characters aren’t developed or relatable enough. Writing is so difficult when you have a low self-esteem. I wish I had a friend who cared enough to read my work and critique it so I can know if I’m on the right track, but I don’t think I can trust any of my friends with something this personal. I’m a shy, secretive person deep down inside. There’s also the little problem of not knowing anyone who actually likes to read books…

I guess I’m just a disillusioned, jaded youth who doesn’t want to live in this sick, sad world anymore. Part of me wants to love someone and be loved by someone, but I know that things like love and respect and passion are dead, dead, dead. People pretend to love each other and they use and manipulate and hurt each other deliberately and it makes me so sad. My generation is nothing more than a group of fakes who pretend to be things they aren’t just to fit in with a preconceived notion of society. Every single person I meet is just a cookie-cutter image of another person. Whatever happened to individualism, to realness, and to honesty? Like Clark Gable said in It Happened One Night, I want to meet somebody that’s real, somebody that’s alive. But they don’t come that way anymore. Everyone is playing a part just to be popular; the youth of today are basically a bunch of highly talented actors who will never win Oscars . No one is interested in truly loving someone with every fiber of their being, because it takes too much time, too much attention. People waste so much time fearing to reveal their true feelings for each other because the world is telling us to look at people like they are just pawns on a chessboard.

How To Dress Like a Freakin’ Grown-Ass Man

If you’re a regular reader of my humble blog, then it probably comes as no surprise to you that I think a vast majority (read: 99%) of my generation is nothing more than a bunch of shallow, horrendous barbarians. Not only do they behave like barbarians (spitting on the street, fighting in public, smoking in people’s faces, collapsing drunk on the sidewalks, cursing around children, publicly flaunting their complete and utter stupidity like it’s something to be proud of, etc.) but they also DRESS like barbarians. Nowadays, it’s considered okay to walk around with your pants down to your knees while wearing a XXXL t-shirt that has some ugly pattern on it. What happened to the days in which people, you know, actually cared about the way they dressed? I’m a big sucker for men who take pride in their appearance, who meticulously groom themselves until they are so clean and neat you could eat off them. This isn’t bragging, but I do tend to dress elegantly, or even luxuriously, on a daily basis, and it would be an absolute dream to meet a man who can match me in that respect. Too bad they are like a rare and gorgeous species basically on the verge of extinction.

However, there is a side of me that is stupidly hopeful about many things. Maybe, if I write a post about it, some men will take notice of it and make an effort to bring some class and elegance into the mostly abysmal human race. Luckily, I study men’s fashion just as seriously as I study women’s fashion. As you can see, I don’t discriminate. So, here’s my little crash course on how to dress like a grown, mature man. Because boys, you need all the help you can get.

The Basics

I know it’s silly to have to say this, but CLEANLINESS IS IMPORTANT, GUYS. It’s more important than anything else I will write in this post. Unfortunately, I’ve met quite a few boys who think showering is an option. BUT. IT. ISN’T. Shower every single flippin’ day. Use goddamn deodorant. They don’t have it in stores for decoration. It’s for you to use, embrace, enjoy.
Body hair isn’t really a big problem, because boys are supposed to be hairy, right? However, that doesn’t mean you should look like a gorilla. If you have back hair, get rid of it right now. If you have an unsightly unibrow, tweeze that thing until you get two eyebrows. It’s not unmanly to tweeze. You don’t want to be mistaken as a primate by an a big game hunter one day and locked up in a zoo somewhere.
It’s also not unmanly to take care of your nails. Nothing makes me shudder quite like seeing a man with long nails. It looks filthy. Trim all nail growth and file those nails smooth. And DON’T BITE YOUR NAILS. Do you know how much bacteria you’re putting into your mouth?!

Get a Tailor

Adolphe Menjou: sartorial elegance.

Adolphe Menjou: sartorial elegance.

Grown men own suits, so when buying suits, make sure they are in…wearable…colors like black, grey, and navy blue. Other colors, like puke green, radioactive yellow, and hot pink are suitable for Halloween only. Every man’s body type is different, so a lot of the time, a ready-to-wear piece can fit well in some places and not so well in others. This leads men to buy suits that are a size or two too big. This is where the tailor comes in. Even though ready-to-wear pieces are cheaper and easier to get, they automatically assume that people come in cookie-cutter sizes. Men who are too tall or too short can find their suits out of proportion: a tall man’s cuffs might not come down to his wrists, a short man’s breast pocket might be too far down the suit jacket, etc. A tailor can fix all that, and help to make the suit fit you as closely as possible without it being too tight.

A suit should fit you closely, but not too close that you feel your buttons straining or your skin pinching underneath the material. A good guide to follow: if you can fit a finger or two between your body and your clothes, it is a good fit. It’s just enough room for you to be comfortable without looking you raided Fatty Arbuckle’s closet.

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Clark Gable’s suits were tailored by Eddie Schmidt to accommodate his large frame

During the Golden Age of Hollywood, ready-to-wear suits were a rarity. Suits were almost always tailor-made, which is why they fit each man so well, even if his body was not the “average” male body of the time. Clark Gable, who was 6’1 and weighed about 190 pounds, was considered a gigantic man for his time (back then, the average man was about Humphrey Bogart-sized: 5’8-ish) so he had to have literally every piece of clothing custom-made to fit his body. His tailor up until WWII was Eddie Schmidt (he made both Gable’s regular clothes and the costumes for his films) and after the war, all his clothes were tailored by Brooks Brothers. Even though Gable was a big man who probably would’ve had a hard time finding his size in stores, he fit like a dream in everything he wore, and because of the necessary adjustments that had to be made to his clothes so they could fit him, he helped to start new trends like broad shoulders and tapered waists. Let’s take an opposite case: Adolphe Menjou was a shorter, slimmer man, but you couldn’t ever accuse him of “swimming in his clothes.” James Oviatt, who was Menjou’s tailor, turned him into a men’s fashion plate and a renowned symbol of sartorial elegance.

You should always know your measurements to ensure the best fit when buying a ready-to-wear piece. That means specifics, like your neck measurements, the length of your arms, etc. The most important thing to keep in mind when buying ready-to-wear shirts or jackets is the breadth of the shoulders. The seam of the shoulders should end right where your shoulders do. If the piece doesn’t do that, trash it. This is something very difficult for a tailor to adjust, so make sure it’s already right when buying ready-to-wear.

Be Picky About Your Fabrics

This is something that I learned the hard way. When I was young and stupid, I would buy tons of really cheap clothes at places like Forever 21, thinking that I was so cool for having a lot of clothes. But a week later, the clothes would be literally falling apart and the $3 jewelry would be turning my skin green where I wore it. As I grew older and wiser, I learned that it isn’t about how much clothes you have, but how good the quality of your clothing is. Nowadays, I wear a lot of silk, lace, sequins, leather, velvet, glitter, and wool. It sounds opulent, but it’s fun, I feel good, and I don’t have to worry about my clothes disintegrating in public. A few good pieces of high quality always beats tons of pieces of really shitty quality. Make sure your clothes are made of 100% fabrics, like cotton,wool, leather, and silk. Poly-blends like nylon are not as sturdy and they make you perspire more, which in turn can make you smelly really fast, since the sweat just sits there. When I shop, I can quickly tell what’s a good fabric by rubbing it with my thumb and forefinger for a second. It’s faster and easier than digging through the piece before reading the label.

Get Nice Shoes

Every time I see a man in flip flops, my eyes cry tears of blood. Nobody wants to see your big hairy feet, so cover them up. Get a pair of black lace-up shoes that can go with anything. Brown is good too. Slim, pointed lace-ups are good for special occasions. Loafers are always classy. Like your clothes, your shoes should be of good quality and of the best materials, like leather.

enhanced-buzz-24974-1374511842-0 Ties…Oy.

Ties can really make or break your suit. The tie should match your suit and your dress shirt, so don’t buy your clothes to match your tie. Buy your ties to match your clothes. So that means no ugly ties in silly colors and stupid patterns, because those look immature and will never match with anything. The width of the tie should be taken into account as well. Bigger men should gravitate towards wider, longer ties. Smaller men should go for shorter, skinnier ties. An average-sized man should wear ties that are around three inches in width.
The colors of your ties should be solid or lightly patterned. Nothing too big, loud, or obnoxious. The color of the tie should also complement your natural coloring. Fair-haired, fair-skinned men can pull off light monochromatic color combinations. Dark-haired, fair-skinned men can pull off bolder color combos that combine darks and lights. Dark-haired, dark-skinned men can pull off both, in addition to low contrast monochromatic color combos. Of course, each man knows better than anyone what colors work best on him.

Gary Cooper' solid tie matches the color of his suit.

Gary Cooper’ solid tie matches the color of his suit.

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The pattern on Errol Flynn’s tie complements his suit yet adds color.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Always Have at Least One Tux

Tuxes are strictly special occasion wear. They’re timeless and debonair. And even though your prom has come and gone and you’re not planning to get married anytime soon (or you’re already married), you should own at least one tuxedo for formal parties, weddings, and other important events. And tuxes don’t always have to be black. You can change it up with a white tux too.

Cary Grant works the black tux.

Cary Grant works the black tux.

 

 

Humphrey Bogart immortalized the white tuxedo in Casablanca.

Humphrey Bogart immortalized the white tuxedo in Casablanca.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Keep Casual Dress Clean and Simple

Don’t buy those jeans that are pre-ripped, pre-frayed, and pre-stained. Looking like the hobos I see every day on the subway is not stylish. When it comes to jeans, stick to traditional or dark washes. Jeans in those washes are classic and can go with anything. For jean fit, stick to straight leg. Like your suit, you want your jeans to fit your body well without looking like you:
a) raided Fatty Arbuckle’s closet again
b) raided the closet of a scrawny ten year-old
And by the way, the waistline of your jeans should stay on your waist, not around your thighs. Just a heads-up, in case you weren’t aware.

A great moment in jeans history: Marlon Brando in The Wild One.

A great moment in jeans history: Marlon Brando in The Wild One.

How to Wear Shorts Without Looking Dumb

Wearing shorts is fuckin hard, for both men and women. I hate the summertime for many reasons, one of which is because it’s time for me to wear shorts and I. Hate. Shorts. The problem with shorts is that they’re pretty difficult to wear without looking like you’ve got thunder thighs. They pockets alone can make your thighs look double their size. And for someone with…shapely…thighs like myself, it can be agonizing torture. But wearing shorts isn’t impossible.
You should wear shorts as casual attire only. Don’t go to work wearing a suit jacket on top and shorts on the bottom, unless you’re hoping to get fired. Shorts should be worn only when the weather calls for it. That means no playing in the snow when wearing shorts, unless you’re hoping to get hypothermia and die.
Shorts should be primarily in lightweight materials such as cotton or linen. Cargo shorts should be worn only when hiking or doing strenuous outdoor activities. Athletic shorts should be worn only when participating in sports or running. The length of your shorts is perhaps the most difficult thing to determine when buying them. They should be long enough so that your knees are just visible or very slightly covered when standing still. Anything that hits right past your knees aren’t shorts. They are a highly unflattering abomination and should be burned.
You also don’t want to get shorts that are way too baggy. The baggier the shorts, the bigger your butt and thighs look. Unless you want to suffer from the Thunder Thighs Syndrome I talked about before, then get shorts that are comfortable yet well-fitting.

Aaaaaaaaaaaand that’s about all I’ve got! If there are any questions or if I missed anything, feel free to leave a comment!

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