The Dames Hit Hollywood! Day Three: The Hollywood Museum
Since I love history and Hollywood, I was excited beyond belief to visit the Hollywood Museum, located at the former Max Factor building. I’ve heard beforehand that the museum is chock-full of rare artifacts and collectibles…and boy was that an understatement! If you ever visit this museum (which you totally SHOULD!) I recommend you take two or three days to see it, so you can fully view and appreciate everything it contains. Obviously, this was one of my favorite parts of the vacation.
The entrance to the museum, which has the scariest Marilyn Monroe statue of all time waiting there. “Hooray for Hollywood” from the film Hollywood Hotel was playing on a constant loop there, which meant that I was whistling along on a constant loop as well!
A more close-up view of the sign.
The side sign and some detail of the building.
Haha you get the idea by now, I hope!
The people who work there are very nice. They complimented me endlessly on my hair and makeup (yay!) A lot of people complimented my style in Hollywood in general. Hollywood people are a lot nicer than New York people for sure! Anyway, The entire first floor is intact from the Max Factor days, and is now a tribute to the master behind our favorite faces and hairstyles. So, they still got the pink lobby (which has a ton of stuff to look at as well), and you know that Max Factor’s makeup was created based on hair color, right? (he would create a line for redheads, another for brunettes, blondes, etc) Well, he actually had rooms for the hair colors as well, where he would treat the actresses. Today, each room features a famous actress well-known for having that hair color. The room “For Redheads Only” features Lucille Ball and Rita Hayworth, and even some Joan Crawford. “For Blondes Only” features mostly Marilyn Monroe. “For Brunettes Only” features mostly Judy Garland.
In the pink lobby:
A costume worn by Michael Jackson. You can see a hall lined with glamour portraits in the background 
Rudolph Valentino’s sunglasses (missing the bridge for the nose) and something else that belonged to him, I have no idea what it is.
The shoes and wands used by the Harry Potter kids to make their prints in Grauman’s forecourt.
Display case containing two 1930s fan magazines, and various kinds of Max Factor makeup.
A close-up of an issue of True Confessions featuring Joan Crawford on the cover.
An issue of Screen Book featuring Marlene Dietrich and Max Factor makeup (this is not Marlene’s personal makeup)
Now here’s Joan’s personal makeup!
Joan’s face powder, rouge (wet and dry), grease paint, compact mirror, and false eyelashes (the freakiest false eyelashes in the entire world. They probably stood two inches off her face!)
Another pair of Joan’s eyelashes, and what I suppose is the stuff she would use to apply them. I think the black thing is mascara, which was dry at that time and quite different from what we have today.
More of Joan’s face powder and rouge. The beige-ish bottle is actually leg makeup, and the blue bottle next to that seems to be a cologne.
A portrait of Joan putting all that stuff on her face.
A case dedicated to Mae West.
An issue of Movie Mirror featuring West.
Haha her rhinestone heels
Mae’s sunglasses
A closer view of the case: Mae’s hair extensions, beauty tools, and Christmas present she gave to someone.
Bette Davis’ shoes, and a random Irving G Thalberg award in the background
Bette Davis and Darryl F Zanuck
Academy Award of Sol Harperin for the invention of CinemaScope
Original vintage photograph of Clark Gable, Ria Langham, Constance Bennett, and Gilbert Roland dining out. How much do you love that vintage camera underneath it?
Joan and Tone! Haha, love their names
A 1938 issue of Life magazine featuring Rudolph Valentino
In the Redhead Room:
Lucille Ball’s own chaise lounge and hair dryer. even though there is a sign on the chaise that says ”do not sit”, I sat on it anyway.
For you, Mark (there always seems to be something dedicated to you every day of this trip!) a photo of Lucille Ball and Hedda Hopper.
Costume worn by Lucille Ball in the Tallulah Bankhead episode of The Lucy/Desi Comedy Hour
Poster for the most hilarious film ever, The Long, Long Trailer.
Rita Hayworth’s personal vanity set.
Random boatload of Max Factor makeup and other knickknacks
Lucille Ball’s sunglasses, jewelry and makeup, and a tea set which was used in I Love Lucy. I love that TV Guide issue with her caricature on it!
Photos of Lucille Ball and a stand of her personal makeup
Close-up on the makeup, which includes face powder, mascara, eyeliner, and pancake makeup. Those are her pearls in the background as well.
Random photos of Joan Crawford
Lucille Ball’s sunglasses
In the Brunette Room:
A Judy Garland Max Factor ad, Judy and Max Factor
THE RUBY SLIPPERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Costume worn by Judy Garland in A Star Is Born
Judy’s makeup, makeup case, and jewelry. The lower shelf has her baby clothes!
Joan Crawford’s fur coat, purse, and shoes
In the Blonde Room:
Portrait of Jean Harlow glamming it up
Marilyn Monroe’s death certificate
Newspaper reporting the death of Marilyn Monroe
Marilyn’s dress
What looks like Max Factor’s “makeup lab” with his personal makeup case, lots of strange beauty gadgets, and hair extensions lining the ceiling
Randomness inside the museum (second and third floors):
A poster of Without Love, with autographs:
Then there was a “portrait room”, full of nothing but glamour photos and shots of vintage Hollywood. That room on its own would take hours! Here’s some highlights:
More bits of vintage Hollywood awesomeness:
Autographs of Frank Capra and Roscoe Karns
autographs of the full Gone With The Wind cast
CARY GRANT’S CAR!!!!!!
My dad was obviously conflicted between photographing Elvis Presley’s robe or the posters on the bottom
evening gown belonging to Lucille Ball
Marilyn Monroe as Theda Bara. Can you believe?!
Charlie Chaplin’s Oscar nomination for Best Musical Score for Limelight
Poster of Some Like It Hot
Lobby card for Saratoga.
I’ve mentioned in a previous post that I saw the Harlow at 100 exhibit at this museum. Here are the photos from it:
Harlow’s white gown and white fox fur cape
I once saw a dress of Anna May Wong’s and said she’s like the height and width of a pencil. Well, Harlow is the size of a pencil broken in half.
Jean’s 1932 Packard Phaeton
Jean’s paycheck from MGM
A note written by Jean on her own stationary. Each MGM star had their own personalized stationary.
Publicity portrait of Jean for her last film, Saratoga
My new favorite photo of Jean. There is something so poignant about it
Many newspapers reported the tragic death of Jean Harlow
It even made headlines in international publications
This picture is too depressing to even explain
Jean’s personal makeup
In 1937, Jean was the first actress to grace the cover of Life magazine
Jean’s childhood address book. It contained the address of her grandfather
A love letter written by Jean to her high school crush, a boy named Howard
A playbill and ticket to the Grauman’s Chinese Theatre premiere of Hell’s Angels, Jean’s breakout film
A souvenir program from the premiere
A program from the president’s birthday ball, one of the last events Jean attended before her death
Jean and first lady Eleanor Roosevelt at the ball
Jean’s personalized handkerchiefs
A menu from the MGM commissary signed by all the major stars of the time: Jean, Robert Taylor, Franchot Tone, William Powell, Joan Crawford, Clark Gable, Jeanette MacDonald, Robert Montgomery, and Myrna Loy, among others
It’s no secret that Jean loved children. Here, she responds to a young fan named Josephine
Beyond the Harlow exhibit:
A gorgeous dress worn by Greta Garbo
A caricature of Cary Grant
Mae West costume, awards, and photographs
Mae West costume and accessories
Claudette Colbert costume and accessories from Cleopatra
photograph and accessories worn by Theda Bara in her version of Cleopatra
Cameras and film equipment from the silent era
Robe worn by Sylvester Stallone in the Rocky series
More vintage film equipment:
I bet you a million dollars this is upside down and I can’t even tell lol
The entire basement of the museum was replicated to look like the prison from Silence of the Lambs. Since my family and I were the only people in the museum that day, it was 364237623 times creepier than it should’ve been:
Carole Irene
Baby Jean
Oh. My. Lord. I am seething with envy! Seeing all those Crawford items reminded me of how I laughed a while ago when I read that she allegedly beat her children with a coat hanger :’D
June 1, 2011 at 9:04 am
That museum was so much fun. Especially when you’re the only people in there, you feel like you practically own the place
I really want to read Mommie Dearest, to see for myself how true her daughter’s claims are. No doubt about it she exaggerated a great deal, but then again, Joan never hit me as the motherly type.
June 1, 2011 at 9:14 am
It must have been amazing! The Carole Irene Holy Grail!
except maybe Gabe and Carole.
None of the stars really strike me as the parenting type to be honest
June 2, 2011 at 8:07 am
Haha quite true! It even smelled old and vintage. It’s that musty smell everyone else hates but I love because it symbolizes a better time…*slips into a daydream*
I never thought about it before, and you’re absolutely right
they’re too glamorous I guess. Mothers don’t usually have their hair perfectly waved, their faces immaculately made up, and their bodies clothed in the highest couture :/ Honestly, I’m having trouble imagining Gabe and Carole as parents too :/
June 2, 2011 at 8:51 am
EMERGENCY EMERGENCY!!!! IS IT TRUE THAT GIVING SOMEONE A THUMBS UP IN AUSTRALIA IS LIKE GIVING SOMEONE THE MIDDLE FINGER?!?!?!?!
June 2, 2011 at 8:39 pm
Clark and Carole seemed grounded. The only other star I can think of who was grounded would be Spence, but he had the unfortunate quirk of disappearing for days on end on drinking binges. I guess Frederic March was grounded, Humph as well, maybe.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Wherever did you hear this guff? No it’s not haha. But the peace sign with the palm of the hand facing toward you is.
June 2, 2011 at 9:16 pm
Like the smell of a musty basement
Humph lawl
I thought he was Bogie
Who else tells me these things?! And she said that means cunt lol. I don’t know why she fancies herself an Aussie…
June 2, 2011 at 9:29 pm
Oh you’re just so cute! *throws arms around you and showers with kisses*
:’( *pulls sack over head*
:O I don’t know why anyone would want to be an Aussie to be honest!
Where on earth did she dig up that fact?! My word. Is she trying to impress me with Australian facts or something?
June 3, 2011 at 9:41 am
That was cute?
Nooo I like Humph more it’s so funny! Everybody says Bogie, it’s getting overplayed!
Why not? It’s funny how you guys hate it but us Americans are fascinated by anything Australian! It must be amazing! She gets it from her stupid movies of course. She’s like, “it was in a British film!” uh, yeah, Australia was once a British colony, but it’s NOT THE SAME COUNTRY. She refused to believe you, preferring to believe a fake movie over a real live Australian! She just wants to be right. And I bet she is trying to impress you. I guess she wants to steal anything that makes me happy. Or maybe she’s in love with you
Oh, and she made fun of my Brooklyn accent yesterday. I can’t really say the letter r, I say it as a w, an i, or an h depending on the word. I guess I can say it in some words, but it’s quite a precious few. And she, of course, has no Brooklyn accent, she has very generic American accent. So instead of ‘party’ I said ‘pawty’ and I didn’t hear the end of it for the rest of the night out!
June 3, 2011 at 9:56 am
Yes
you are in general.
:’) y-you mean it?
Oh most Australians are highly patriotic. Annoyingly so. I myself am not because I think blind patriotism is stupid!
Tell P3 that I have seen countless instances of people giving the thumbs up. Why, once at an ANZAC Day march I was clapping the WWII veterans and waving my little Australian flag and one of the veterans looked at me, smiled and gave me the thumbs up.
Don’t worry about her stealing me my love. I’ve never spoken to her and yet she annoys me.
Grrrrrrrrrr! That’s not funny, it’s cute! Stupid P3.
June 3, 2011 at 8:17 pm
I still don’t see it, but whatever floats your boat luggy
Yes and there’s no need to get all emotional about it
You’re right about that. Totally and completely right. Blind patriotism is what leads to almost all the troubles in the world if you think about it.
P3 heheh I love it!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! Oh I love you, I love you, I love you!! I’ll be sure to tell her, make her a little angry at graduation tomorrow
Even though I pronounce your name Mawk?
June 3, 2011 at 10:22 pm
*bursts into tears*
*cough* and the Jews *cough*
that was me as Mel Gibson 
Perpetual Posterior Pain
Good
silly little twit! Fancy thinking that!
That's adorable!!!!!!
June 4, 2011 at 6:39 am
<3 <3
*strokes back and holds head against my chest*
Who isn't really the most popular guy at the moment
CLEVER!!! That's one of the many reasons why I love you so much. No one else can come up with such witticisms so easily!
I didn't get time to speak to her before graduation
but I will tell her at my graduation party!
It doesn't sound like I have a speech impediment? Which I probably do
June 4, 2011 at 1:25 pm
:’(
*nuzzles in*
:O he isn’t? But but but but!!
*blushes* is it an apt description?
Hooray! It’ll serve her right, the know-all!
No it sounds beautiful
June 5, 2011 at 7:54 am
Why are you crying?
Wow, I guess someone felt better quickly
Well, here he isn’t so much because of his, um, past scandals, shall I say?
I think she has the hots for my cousin now *throws up a little in mouth*
If you say so
June 5, 2011 at 8:29 am
Because
in my dreams you’re always there but then I have to wake up and be in a world without you.
*puts on a cute face and nods feebly*
I know what you mean hehe. I admire him for his strength of faith.
*tries to keep a straight face*
I know so
June 5, 2011 at 8:55 pm
Shall I be scared of what goes on in said dreams?
*hugs again*
I admire YOU for your strength of faith
You think this is funny?! It’s gross!
*pounces*
June 5, 2011 at 9:08 pm
:O well I guess it depends what frightens you really.
*makes a sweet little noise of contentment*
I admire you because you’re you.
:’D
*catches and sweeps off feet*
June 5, 2011 at 11:23 pm
Hmm…well I’m not sure if I’m really frightened by anything, just disgusted by things. Oh no, I’m frightened of the future in the hands of this generation and death. If I could be immortal…that would be a dream! But you don’t have to tell me about your dreams if you’re uncomfortable
*kisses top of head*
This is random, but how was Mutiny on the Bounty for you? You never told me about it!
You really do bring up my self-esteem lots!
It’s not funny!!!!! If they fall in love and she marries him she will be part of my family forever!!!
You must have really really really strong arms!
June 5, 2011 at 11:45 pm
Immortal?! I can’t think of anything worse especially in this era. I’m 100 years out of it as it is! The only reason I’d like an extended life span is to see how this world will eventually destroy itself.
I most certainly would tell you my dreams if you so desire. I never have sordid ones.
*looks up with big blue eyes twinkling*
Oh I gave it up. Lack of interest
I’m glad
you’re beautiful 
*gasps for air in between hysterics*
I do
they used to be pencil thin
June 6, 2011 at 5:45 am
You’re right but I’m too scared to die! And I especially don’t want to see the world destroy itself!
If you want, you can tell me one dream. Your favorite one
Aww you angel!
YOU LIEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!
You have the beauty for both of us my love
STOP ITTTTT.
Do you have nice wonderful arm muscles? You don’t have any idea how much I love arm muscles
June 6, 2011 at 4:19 pm
I’m not scared of death, only prolonged suffering.
Any dream with you in it
Angel with a dirty face
:O
Maybe Picasso would think I was beautiful
Not P.P.P. anymore. P.P.C. :’D
Yush I do
June 7, 2011 at 12:07 am
I want to die an upright death. I don’t want to waste away in a hospital bed.
Stop being a smartass!
*wipes dirty face clean*
You were lying right? You couldn’t possibly have given it up! Anyone would’ve given their right arm to have that part! Heck, even I would’ve and I’m a girl! I’d be so disappointed if you really gave it up :’(
Too beautiful for him to paint
I’m scared to know what that stands for…
*frantically fans self*
June 7, 2011 at 8:08 am
Gabe :’(
*has no intention of ever stopping and kisses head*
*blushes furiously*
POISON PLATYPUS COUSIN :’D
*wraps arms around your belly and flexes arm muscles*
June 7, 2011 at 8:40 pm
He didn’t waste away though. He had a quick heart attack.
*shrieks in anger*
CAN YOU JUST TELL ME THE TRUTH ALREADY MY GODDDDDDD!!!
*kisses* does that make the blushing worse?
EWWWWWW MAN. THAT’S NOT KOSHER. What’s with my mood today?
Trying to squeeze the life out of me ya big lug?
June 7, 2011 at 8:54 pm
In a hospital bed
*shows you arm muscles in an attempt to appease*
Please don’t be angry with me my love, but my Dad was really sick and we were under the impression that he was dying, so I dropped a lot of things to be able to spend more time with my family. Do you hate me?
*sweeps you up like Gabe does to Jean in “Red Dust” and smooches you in revenge*
It’s very Yiddish
I’m trying to make you swoon
June 8, 2011 at 8:52 am
Yeah…but he still didn’t suffer and waste away.
*shuts up*
Oh, how could I have been so inconsiderate? You did the right thing, and of course I’m not going to hate you over some silly school play! Is he doing better now?
Did you finally see Red Dust?
That’s what happens when you live in New York, which is the hub of all Jewish-ness
Trying to make me swoon? Well, two can play that game!
June 8, 2011 at 9:12 am
Unlike poor Humph
*gets ideas*
Oh thank you darling <3 I was certain of your hatred. He is doing much better thank you. They have a fair idea what is wrong and it's not (praise God) life threatening.
Enough to make you swoon my love <3
Thank you Mel Gibson Sr
he claims the Holocaust never happened but that all the Jews went to New York.
Do your worst you dizzy dame!
June 8, 2011 at 9:05 pm
Or Jean :’(
*RUNS AWAAAAY. FAR FAR AWAY*
Certain of my hatred? You think I’m horrid! I admire you more for giving up that role! I know it meant a lot to you. I’m so happy your father is recovering my love. I pray for him always.
So you saw part of it? What do you think is better: Red Dust or Mogambo?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Oh goodness. But seriously, all the important New Yorkers are Jews. Always was, and I guess always will be.
*swiftly unfastens the top button of my dress and widens the collar just a tad*
June 8, 2011 at 9:31 pm
:’( Jean <3
*chases in 1930s style car*
No darling, I think you're perfection! I just knew Fletcher is a role you love! If it's any consolation, the guy who took my role looks like a fawn from "Chronicles of Narnia". About the height of one as well…
Hmmmm…"Red Dust" is because it oozes lust and is just pre-Code goodness! But "Mogambo" wins points for "STOP FEEDING THAT CHIMP BUBBLEGUM!".
All important people are Jews. One of my friends has Jewish blood and he's so proud of it.
*does the double-take/quiver thing Gabe does in "Teacher's Pet"*
June 9, 2011 at 1:25 am
Wait a sec, didn’t she die in June?
*hides behind a bush while you drive by*
LAWL awww the poor thing! He probably felt really bad about himself, ya know, taking on such a manly role while looking like a delicate fantastical creature
I really like Mogambo, but Red Dust beats it for me. Nothing is like the original!
That’s quite true. I have no idea how they did it…
LMAOOOO!!! “The double-take quiver thing”! Do you mean that move he did when Mamie van Doren sang “The Girl Who Invented Rock and Roll”?
June 9, 2011 at 8:09 am
Yesterday :’(
Well he had to fill MY shoes after all
I agree
although this “Thin Man” remake with Johnny Depp looks at being much better!
*coughs* MONEY GRABBING *coughs*
Yup
June 9, 2011 at 8:29 am
Oh :’( I didn’t realize. I’ll pray for her.
That’s what I was insinuating
I’ve had a change of heart about it myself. After all, Mr Depp is a much more versatile actor than Mr Powell
I can always count on you to be so blunt about things
I’m the same way. Someone actually wrote that in my yearbook :’D
Hahaha you’re so adorable!!
June 9, 2011 at 8:48 am
Poor little Jean :’( she was so fragile.
<3
And there I was trying to get your goat, but you flipped me on my head with an unexpected comment!
bahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! That's something I wish we did here, pass the yearbook around. But at my high school, we didn't even get our yearbooks until the following year :/ and I don't think they had a space in them in which to sign 
*plays up to it and curls up at your feet*
June 9, 2011 at 7:28 pm
Not just physically, but mentally as well
she was so sensitive.
Did any of your friends see the play and tell you how our pet faun did onstage?
*Blows on index finger like it’s a smoking gun*
You didn’t get your yearbook until the following year?! But didn’t you graduate? How did they do that?! And no space for signatures? That’s a shame! Australian schools are weird :/
*gives you a treat*
June 9, 2011 at 7:39 pm
Thanks to Mama Jean >:(
Nope
none of them take much interest in me. I’m sort of the friend everyone goes to whenever everyone else is busy.
Oh you cherub!!! <3
They did a mass mailout. Our years work differently. In Australia, we start in February, go through to Easter, break for a week and a bit, through to late May/early June, break for three weeks, through to early September, break for two weeks through to mid December.
*wags tail*
June 9, 2011 at 9:21 pm
*boils with hate*
Well, not this dame! You’re the first and foremost in my heart lug!
That wasn’t supposed to be cute!
Yeah that’s right your seasons are opposite mine. Right now we’re in the disgusting days of summer. You guys are having winter now?
If by “tail” you mean “butt” then HAHAHAHAHA!
June 9, 2011 at 9:32 pm
*thinks of bad mothering, mind wanders to a mental image of Joan Crawford laying into her daughter with a coat-hanger. Shrieks with laughter*
*nuzzles*
But it was! <3
Yup! My favourite season!
:'(
June 10, 2011 at 6:37 pm
I really want that book! Gosh darn it, I should’ve asked for it as a graduation present >:(
You’re my bestest friend yet I’ve never met you. That’s something special!!
Nothing ever works out the way I want it to
MEEEE TOOOOOOOOO!!!!! EHMAGAWD MARK!
Winter’s so much fun! Because I get to wear my coat with the fox fur collar (and what beautiful fur! A brownish red!) and my black leather gloves with the black rabbit fur cuffs, and my cloche hat 
obviously PETA hates me lol.
Why you be crying? Haha that’s the trendiest way to speak now, using the verb “be” without conjugating it :’D worst grammar ever!
June 10, 2011 at 6:51 pm
It’d probably be very biased.
Awww darling! *sits you on my lap and cuddles you firmly, yet softly*
Oh come on! That WAS so cute!
“Ehmagawd”! :’D
Boy, it sounds like you dress REALLY classily! I alternate between wool jumpers with a tweed flat cap or a casual outfit with a black felt coat and black fedora/trilby
(Hahahahahaha!!!) I be crying because I was wiggling my tail not my arse!
June 10, 2011 at 8:06 pm
I want to see just how biased it is. People are so torn on it :/
Now THAT’S a contradiction!
*sighs* that was supposed to be badass
I try lug, I try
it’s so hard to find casual clothes in my closet :/ everything is silk and satin and sparkles and chiffon and practically everything except regular cotton :/ and what does a wool jumper look like honey? It sounds funny 
You be havin’ a tail fah realz?
June 10, 2011 at 9:16 pm
I’d be inclined to agree with it because of the hilarious image it presents.
Firmly so you’re secure but softly so you’re cozy
Oh that’s even cuter!!!!
*pictures you and sighs dreamily*
You know! A woolen jumper! Oh hang on, you’d call it a sweater.
D:
June 11, 2011 at 12:20 am
I’d be inclined to disagree with it because of that…
Aaah I understand now!
I fail.
Earlier in the school year we had an entire week of no uniforms
so I wanted to make a statement and wore sequins and sparkles every single day 
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I feel so stupid now
It’s backwards! Fix it!
June 11, 2011 at 8:26 am
But it is funny
*kisses*
You don’t
You’re so cute! OH I LOVE YOU TO PIECES!!!!
No no no don’t
I used an unfamiliar term, it’s only natural that you not understand <3
Nup!
June 11, 2011 at 9:48 pm
It is, I guess…but it marred Joan Crawford’s image, which is a terrible shame.
*pats nose*
Most of the time
It was senior year. I had to treat every non-uniform day like it was my swan song
I like when you use your Australian terms
it’s so much fun! Don’t be American for me 
Fix it pweese???
June 11, 2011 at 10:42 pm
I think the Crawfordites know better than to believe it my little cutie
I thought you used to love poking it my love
Nuh-uh!
Little Diva
Ok I’ll try
*heart melts*
June 12, 2011 at 1:43 am
There are barely any Crawfordites left because of that shitty book!
I like touching it in general
Yuh-huh!
Oh shut up
Don’t try just be yourself!
FIXED!!!
June 12, 2011 at 5:56 pm
Surely there are many!
*hides nose*
Nope nope nope!
Miriam Hopkins
But but but but but
How could I ever refuse you?
June 12, 2011 at 9:27 pm
I don’t think so
not as much as she deserves.
*frantically searches for it*
Yush
Hey she’s a lil on the catty side!
Why? Just be Australian! I love it!
If I turn nasty then yeah you might
June 12, 2011 at 11:34 pm
*makes a rubber mould of it for you*
You’re a success! Did you or did you not receive a scholarship? HMMMMM?!
And you’re telling me you’re not?
But I’m not Australian
at least not “Aussie” 
I’m more…refined 
I’d just pretend to be upset and you’d come crawling back to me
June 13, 2011 at 9:03 am
I concur. So people should know better than to believe it! And I know what smacked means my love
not only was I smacked all the time, but I was tweaked on the ear, dragged by my hair…yeah.
*puts in a glass case and devotes a room to it*
I’ve received a lot of scholarships, but they don’t mean anything in the end!
Heyyyy! Stop!
Just talk the way you normally would
just don’t be American 
I’ve never gotten on my knees for anyone!
June 13, 2011 at 5:18 pm
*pictures a tiny Sarah getting up to mischief* OH YOU CUTIE *hugs and kisses*
haha I’ve never been so proud of my nose!
I’ve never received one! All I have to my name is a few National English Competition High Distinctions. I even graduated in my senior year with DIShonours!
Hehehe
Ok then boy howdy yeeehaaaaa
That’s true but you had never met me
June 13, 2011 at 9:11 pm
I wasn’t so bad! I played rough, but not bad
I did some pretty…unusual things. But if I’m bad, Baby was WORSE! She was always bad, and dragged me into it!
You should
you said it looks like Gabe’s *sighs dreamily*
Oooh an English competition! But you never really were the bookish type, were ya?
I graduated with advanced honors, but graduating with dishonors is a helluva lot more fun! 
I’ll admit it. I’m catty
You don’t really talk like that do you?
It don’t matter!
June 13, 2011 at 10:25 pm
Awww! Lucy was much worse than I as well. One day she took a makeup kit to school and was “making up” her friends :’D
It does at that!
I was indeed the bookish type! Chubby and cute
Advanced honours AND a scholarship?! NEEEEEEEEEEEEERD! EGGHEAD!!!
You have a right to be with friends like yours!
No I was being American
Ok then! I’m not gonna speak to you again!
June 14, 2011 at 2:27 am
LOL! How scary did they turn out on a scale of one to ten?
let me think of something bad we did…well, Baby’s broken most everything in the house, and if something was advertised as unbreakable, she’d actually make an effort to break it, she’s also fried a doll (!!!), my cousin and I got one of those gummy hands stuck on the ceiling, I drew pictures in a collectible book, I literally got stuck under the bed…there’s more where this came from, I just can’t remember it…
*sighs again*
Oh shut your face you alcoholic tattooed smoker!
Thanks
my behavior has been justified!
Um, American in Texas ca.1848
Yeah right!
June 14, 2011 at 9:08 am
Unfortunately I didn’t see them
she also went quite mad with a permanent marker and scribbled on the couch, curtains and her doll. I was a terror. Once at pre-school, we were playing “The Lion King” and I scratched a guys face. Then when I played indoor cricket in primary school, I threw the ball at a girl on the opposing team’s head. I also used to throw little berries at people.
*wiggles lovely little nose*
is that how you see me? :’(
Entirely! I wouldn’t blame you if you set fire to their hair!
“My name’s American and I’m a cowboy, shoot dadgum hyuk”
*silence*
June 14, 2011 at 10:47 pm
LMFAOOO!!! You guys were a hoot! And why do you always act out movies when you were younger? You were such a bully haha! I used to also color on the walls with crayons
I always loved art I guess!
*giggles like a little schoolgirl*
Absolutely not! I just wanted to get back at you for calling me a nerd
I’m sorry if I offended you, I didn’t mean it, honest.
Say, thanks, that’s a great idea!
*smacks forehead*
*gives you my back*
June 14, 2011 at 11:23 pm
We used to as kids. It was great fun! But I hid under a slide when the boy’s mum came to pick him up! That’s so cute! I don’t think I ever did that, but I once threw mud at my uncle’s car (moments after he had washed it). OH! And once I stayed at my aunt’s and put a whole heap of stamps inside the cover of a book she’d borrowed. And I also hid my grandpa’s gold watch in his garden and forgot where I’d hidden it. And once my mum took me to a shop and I found a little toy mouse and wandered out of the store with it but Mum discovered it soon after and made me take it back. But the thing that I still laugh at is a time in primary school when my friend and I took the doll off a backwards girl and played ‘piggy in the middle’ with it. I also remember when most of the class climbed up onto the jungle gym before school because the backwards girl was near us and whilst up there, squealed and teased her. Lucy and her friends did the same, but they teased her until she chased them.
*Eskimo kisses little schoolgirl*
*wins yet another victory*
:O you terror!
Hehehehehehe
*grabs you, forcefully spins you around and smooches*
June 15, 2011 at 1:27 am
How could you say Lucy was worse than you? You were absolutely horrid! All what she did was try to make her friends pretty but you did everything from scratching people’s faces to theft! And the funny part is you’re STILL that mischievous!
*little schoolgirl begins to hyperventilate*
WHUT?!
I’ll just blame it on you
after all, you gave me the idea!
Can you say some more? It’s funny
Do you always fancy yourself a classic movie hero?
June 15, 2011 at 7:59 am
As I wrote that last bit, I was on the bus struggling not to laugh, but grinning like a big dope! And I’m nearly certain a pair of backwards people called me a gorilla >:(
*quickly stops and brings you a glass of water*
I always win
:O but then they’ll think I’m some sort of delinquent!
“My name’s American, uhm guhnna mosey down to the storrrre and ruhstle muhsayalf urp surm grurrrrb!”
Most of the time, yes
June 15, 2011 at 9:55 am
Do people never refrain from insulting others? You shoulda slugged ‘em! And may I ask a question? Why you be going on the bus all the time?
Thanks love I needed it
Uhh, no ya DON’T! I always win!
But you are a delinquent!
Ok cowboy go mosey yourself down there and get some grub
With seventeen girlfriends, you’ve surpassed most of the original classic movie heroes!
June 15, 2011 at 11:03 am
I don’t drive a car. Don’t see the point in it. I have a car but no licence. It’s cheaper to pay my $3 (USD: $10,000,000) for a day pass and I can go anywhere my little heart desires
You’re welcome patootie
Of course you realise, this means war.
:O
“Duh ahm from Brooklyn whaddaya hear whaddaya say? See here pal ahm gawnna slug you right in th’ kisseh!”
I love how you remember every little fact about me <3
June 15, 2011 at 8:18 pm
I don’t understand two things: how do you have a car but no licence and how can $3 possibly equal $10,000,000?!?!
*beams between sips of water*
Unfortunately for you, war is my stock-in-trade
A delinquent with a heart of gold, like Robin Hood
Whadda I hear? Whadda I say? The sight and sound of your impending doom if you so much as lay a finger on me!
I remember most everything about everyone (while someone I know forgets everything)
But all kidding aside, I’ve never loved anyone so much that I’ve wanted to learn and remember everything about them 
June 15, 2011 at 8:28 pm
1. I was given a car for my 18th
2. I was being sarcastic about the state of the U.S. dollar. It’d probably be about $3.10 or thereabouts.
*kisses cheek and wanders off*
:O profiteer!
HOORAY! Welcome to Sherwood, my lady!
I’d never lay a finger on you in anger. Only in the purest of love. I can’t stand men who strike women. One of my friends’ exes told me he beat her up and I’m disgusted with him.
OH! *cuddles you out of love, but also to hide crimson face*
June 15, 2011 at 9:25 pm
1. But you never learned to drive. It seems kinda a waste of money…
2. Oh haha sorry
Oh come back! Please don’t leave me!
I always get paid
I’m honored, you noble blackguard!
Why are people so cruel and brutish? What’s the sick satisfaction they get from it?
I love you <3
June 15, 2011 at 10:32 pm
1. *shrug*
2. *kisses*
*hides behind couch*
:O *trembles and backs away in fear of such evil*
you’re the first person I’ve ever heard other than me say “blackguard” <3
I'm not sure
my grandfather (mum's dad) used to hit my grandmother 
he was even put in lock-up because of it.
*squeaks and burrows in further, as you begin to feel the heat from my blushing face*
June 16, 2011 at 3:00 am
1. Oh well. Who am I to judge?
2. Stop it *blushes*
Why are you running away from me?
Easy. I was just trying to be Rhett Butler
HUZZAH!!!
Now I’m scared of your grandfather!!!!!!!!
*giggles because it tickles*
June 16, 2011 at 8:53 am
1. You’re my beloved so I give you permission to judge!
2. *kisses again*
To see if you’ll follow
<3
I'm Rhett Butler though!
*delights in you*
He's fine now, he can barely walk! But he used to be, probably still is, an alcoholic and was a very, very violent drunk. He was an only child and came from a very rich family and had a HUGE inheritance and owned several houses, but alas he blew it all on alcohol and gambling.
*showers with kisses*
June 16, 2011 at 9:56 am
1. Oh. I could get used to this
2.*roasts your lips off* haha!
Oh, on that note *follows*
No I am! You’re Scarlett
What was so delightful?
Sounds like a modern-day version of the Prodigal Son :/
*passes out*
June 17, 2011 at 3:17 pm
1.
little tyrant!
*clutches and kisses*
2. :O
:O I am not!
Everything
my darling, you’re a gem!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! If only! Then he would have something to fall back on and not live in virtual poverty.
*holds you until you wake*
June 21, 2011 at 7:29 pm
1. I’m a boss
2. Sorry!
Hey! Why you grabbing dames like they’re yours to play with?!
Yes you are!
I’m Rhett forever!
A tarnished one!
You guys don’t help him out?
*doesn’t wake*
June 21, 2011 at 7:50 pm
1. But you’re so cute!
2. *adores you*
Because I’ve lost 11lb and have my Gabe physique back
I’m Rhett!!!!
A flawless, perfect one.
Yes, Mum is always “lending” him money.
*kills self like Romeo*
June 21, 2011 at 11:09 pm
1.*fiddles with unlit cigar* but I’m still the boss, ya got it?
2. Even when I roasted your lips off? I can get away with most anything when it comes to you!
HOORAY!!!
you’ve made my day! I’m so happy for you!
Nooo, I am!
Nope, I’m one mess of a gem.
He blows it off?
Come on, this is the second post in which you die in the end. Control yourself, Mr Melodrama
June 21, 2011 at 11:26 pm
1. *places hand on revolver in inside pocket*
2. Of course, I love thee with all my heart!
You make me blush
I love you so <3
Whoever resembles Gabe, raise your hand *raises hand*
Whoever has a Rhett doll, raise your hand *raises hand*
But I think you're perfect
Pretty much.
Hahahahahaha!!! God you're a little wiseass!!
June 22, 2011 at 6:44 am
1. I DARE YOU.
I love you too!
2. You’re much too kind
I love you more, sweetheart
*raises hand both times*
You’re perfect!
Aw. That’s upsetting, lug
Yeah I know
June 22, 2011 at 7:58 am
1. *takes out and points at you*
2. *beams and bats eyelashes*
If it’s possible
Oh you terrible liar!
Not nearly!
It is
But oh-so cute!
June 22, 2011 at 9:49 am
1. Haha, you won’t shoot it!
2.*bats my lashes back*
Trust me, it is
Okay. I’ll admit I lied about the second part, but not the first!
Yes it is possible!
A cute wiseass?
June 22, 2011 at 9:55 am
1.*hand trembles*
*sweeps off feet and smooches*
2. *wiggles my ears*
Ooooooh! You do not look like Gabe!
I’m deeply flawed.
Yush
June 22, 2011 at 6:37 pm
1. Heheheheheheh. I knew you couldn’t!
2. Can you really?! That would be so cool!
I love you!!
Excuse me, yes I DO!
I love each and every single one of them
Fine
June 22, 2011 at 7:50 pm
1. *throws gun away and falls at your feet begging forgiveness*
2. I can learn!
I love YOU
No you look like Baby Jean!
*blushes*
So it should be terror!
June 22, 2011 at 9:16 pm
1. Okay okay you’re forgiven. Just no groveling next time
2. Haha it’s ok I was just curious
I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!
Nooo, she’s blonde and fair and I’m the exact opposite! I’m Gabe! If only I could convince my upper lip to grow a mustache…
Tomato
Is terror my new name?
June 22, 2011 at 9:28 pm
1. *hand moves to chloroformed rag in my back pocket*
2. I wanna be able to do it!
Oh that’d be gorgeous(!) But I’m Gabe so there.
Tomaydo!
It’s your new adjective!
June 22, 2011 at 11:35 pm
1.*picks up gun and aims*
2. You’re gonna practice?
No I am! I will grow a mustache, just wait and see!
Tomaytuh
we do this all the time!
*makes a scary face, and since I’m wearing my retainer as we speak, that isn’t too hard to do*
June 22, 2011 at 11:46 pm
1. *lunges*
2. Yup!
Ewwwwww!!!!
I know
You do realise I find this cute?
June 23, 2011 at 9:55 pm
1.*screams and accidentally presses trigger*
2. And I’ll practice winking!
Why, you don’t think women with mustaches are attractive?
We’re so random
The retainer? Do you know how many times I’ve tried to throw the fucking thing in the garbage?
June 23, 2011 at 10:25 pm
1. *falls to the ground dead as you realise knife is actually a novelty comb*
2. CUTE!
I’m not German
Totally!
You’d have a cute lisp!
June 24, 2011 at 10:19 pm
1. Well, I was gonna say I shot to the ceiling, but if you wanna die, oh well
2. EWWERS!
LMFAOOOOO I LOVE YOU!!!!
Toe-dally mate
I saw a Crocodile Hunter episode about Tasmania today 
it’s nice 
I only lisp with that dumb thing in my mouth!
June 24, 2011 at 10:35 pm
1. I always search for a dramatic exit
2. Er, sorry?
I wove oo
Oh-ho yes it’s lovely! It’s actually a hole. A stinking, rotten cesspool. If they ever needed a place to dump the world’s garbage, just evacuate Tasmanians and drop it all here. It’s like an elephant’s graveyard, you should only come here when you’re about to die, because there’s sweet fuck all to do. I actually despise Tasmania. Firstly the name is STUPID. “Tasmania”. It sounds like some sort of fucking fantasy realm. But most of all because it’s such a fucking dull, hellhole of a place. Our capital “city” is about five square blocks of shops. Woo. Hoo. The biggest department store burnt down 4 years ago, and they haven’t even drawn up something to replace it with. It’s just a rubble pit with a wooden walkway around it. There’s no fucking sporting events, we haven’t got a team in the AF fucking L, the TFL draws crowds of about 20 spectators, half the people here have hairlips and webbed fingers because they’re fucking inbred and I just fucking hate it here.
Oh but that’s so cute <3
June 25, 2011 at 7:59 pm
1. Mr Melodrama, always true to character!
2. EWWERS!!! Like ew, but funnier
Wove oo too babycakes
Oh come on, it must be much nicer than you say! Everyone in the United States of America is OBSESSED with Australia, it’s a fascinating, beautiful place, I’m sure! Everyone here likes the land and the animals and the people and the accents…it can’t possibly be THAT bad. Tasmania has such beautiful wildlife and indigenous creatures. I can’t believe you don’t appreciate it! But I’ve heard a lot about the inbred thing, and I didn’t know it was true :/ What I really loved was that you said the word “fuck” about a million times
you don’t curse a lot, and I love it when you do 
June 25, 2011 at 9:07 pm
1. *is Olly*
2. :’D “ewwers”!
Cutie pie!
Harrumph. There’s nothing to do here, it’s stagnating. And the inbred thing is DEFINITELY true. There’s this small town in the North where they’re all related and they inter-marry. And one of my friends lived near an inbred family and they apparently were creepy and weird. I’m fairly positive a lot of the “pure-blooded” Aboriginals are inbred because there weren’t many left, certainly not enough to have as many as there are now.
June 26, 2011 at 1:10 am
1. Oh God
2. Glad you like it! My sister’s friend made it up
You’re the cutie pie with your baby talk!
But I thought there aren’t any more pure Aborigines left :/I’m sure there’s plenty to do, tourists always go to Tasmania. Brooklyn is boring as hell too. Excluding crime, nothing really happens here. The real fun is in the city.
June 26, 2011 at 7:33 am
1. Lord Larry :’D
2. My sister has a friend that I’ve never met but I’ve become OBSESSED with her
it’s like American Beauty 
I love you
There are a few. Hooligans and ragamuffins. Brooklyn is where it’s at!
June 26, 2011 at 9:42 am
1. Sir Olly
2. Oh. Why don’t you just go out with her then? You’d be MUCH happier.
You have a funny way of showing it.
No it isn’t.
June 26, 2011 at 10:13 am
1. :’D :’D :’D
2. Oh darling! I should have made myself clearer. I’m not in love with her! I just ask Lucy stupid questions about her all the time like “what do you think her favourite Magnum PI episode is?”. It’s just to annoy Lucy really. My heart is yours my eternal beloved <3
*throws arms around you and showers you with kisses and affection*
It is!
June 26, 2011 at 10:46 am
1. I can just imagine that snooty face of his…
2. I can’t believe Lucy doesn’t like me for no reason! I never said a word to her! When she uses your laptop did she happen to stumble across our conversation comparing her to Dudley Dursley in Harry Potter or something?
*returns your affections*
Nooo it’s deadly boring around here. The shopping sucks ass, the people are DISGUSTING, the streets are gritty and dirty, and lately the gangs have been acting up. A couple of weeks ago, a sixteen year old girl was shot to death by them on the same beach that I went to with my ex-friends
June 28, 2011 at 7:46 am
1. I love the thought of him smoking a cigarette. It makes me laugh for some reason.
2. Oh who knows. Her and Dad are terribly negative. Dad moreso lately. Tonight he was abusing some poor television personality (“stupid fuckwit”) and told Lucy that if Chip kept coming near him, he’d “kick his fucking head in”. He wouldn’t really, but it sounded terrible. He swears so much lately.
<3
:O a shootout! How urban! The only shootout here was the Port Arthur massacre.
June 28, 2011 at 10:58 am
1. Yeah it does…especially when I imagine him in a smoking jacket…
2. You’re dad has been through a lot. I’m actually not surprised he’s acting this way. How is he feeling?
<3 <3 <3
Yeah, but it's really scary. The girl did nothing, they just shot her. You can't make eye contact with anyone around here. Between the Mafia, the Crips, and the Bloods, you want to keep to yourself as much as possible.
June 28, 2011 at 12:35 pm
1. :’D can you just picture him puffing away sombrely?
2. He’s annoyed because he has to take tablets. He just sits in his chair all night looking like a grump.
I love you so <3
It sounds like a job for "Bulldog" Glidden, fighter of crime!
June 28, 2011 at 6:52 pm
1. Can you imagine him as a suave detective? Like Nick Charles? :’D
2. That’s IT? That’s the reason why? Maybe if the whole family gives him a group hug he will feel better
Love you bunches!
LMAOOOO “Bulldog Glidden”!!! :’D
June 28, 2011 at 7:18 pm
1. :’D :’D he’d be so dramatic when he found a clue!
2. He’d probably tell us to fuck off D:
Love you stacks!
:’(
June 28, 2011 at 10:53 pm
1. If he failed to solve the mystery, he would probably stab himself :’D
2. Even to his wife and children? Oh goodness. Is it a side effect from his medicine or something? My uncle’s medication makes him irritable…
Love you piles!
It’s SO cute!
June 29, 2011 at 12:20 am
1. :’D even his last words were drama referenced :’D
2. He’s always been cranky. It’s kinda funny.
Love you loads!
It’s tough
June 29, 2011 at 1:08 am
1. What were they?
2. Aww that’s not nice! I bet you like to annoy him on purpose
Love you hills and mountains!
It’s funny
June 29, 2011 at 7:00 am
1. “This isn’t Hamlet! It isn’t supposed to go in the bloody ear!”
2. Guilty as charged
Love you peaks and precipices!
Isn’t
June 29, 2011 at 9:21 am
1.*smacks head at the obnoxiousness of this man*
2. Oh you’re a devil!
Love you towers and skyscrapers!
God, you take everything so seriously!
June 29, 2011 at 10:00 am
1. He probably went in with an ingrown toenail, but lay there convinced he’d been poisoned with some rare poison unknown to medical science and eventually convinced himself to death.
2. *smiles sweetly*
Love you into space!
I don’t take you seriously
June 29, 2011 at 10:20 am
1. LMAOOOOO :’D :’D :’D death by ingrown toenail!
2. WHAT AN ACTOR!
Love you into heaven!
When you see my fingernails, then you’ll take me seriously
June 29, 2011 at 10:44 am
1. Can’t you just see him there? :’D
2.
2a. I READ IN EMPIRE (A MOVIE MAGAZINE) THAT THEY’RE LOOKING AT REMAKING “It Happened One Night” AS A MODERN VERSION WITH ZAC EFRON AND KRISTEN STEWART!
Love you
I shall laugh at your silly toenails!
June 29, 2011 at 6:43 pm
1. I dunno who’s more obnoxious, you or him!
2. You should become an actor, Mr Melodrama
2a. NO! YOU’RE KIDDING ME RIGHT? THIS HAS TO BE A TOTAL JOKE! WE HAVE TO STOP THIS! WHAT’S GOING ON IN THIS MISERABLE WORLD?! THOSE DICKHEADS DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO SPEAK, LET ALONE ACT! ONCE AGAIN, THE FUCKING HOLLYWOOD BIGWIGS ARE DESTROYING ALL THAT IS GREAT ABOUT THE CLASSICS. I’VE NEVER SEEN LESS APPRECIATION FOR HOLLYWOOD HISTORY! I FEEL LIKE KILLING THEM, AND ZAC FUCKING EFRON AND KRISTEN FUCKING STEWART!
Haha you can’t think of anything else!
You won’t even see my toenails. It will be much too cold for my bare feetsies to be out in the open
June 29, 2011 at 7:22 pm
1. :O him by a mile!
2. I’ve already chosen to walk in the way of God, but thank you
2a. FOOLED YOU :’D
Nothing higher!
YOU CHERUB! *kisses a million*
June 29, 2011 at 9:11 pm
1. I know
2. I know
2a. Oh. My. God. You did NAWT just say that, did you? Mark William Glidden, you are going to be DEAD MEAT. I am beyond angry right now! If you were here, I would’ve gauged out those precious blue eyes of yours!
True that poobah
*wiggles toes in shoes and giggles*
June 29, 2011 at 9:49 pm
1. You better!
2. That made little sense but ok!
2a. *howls in mirth*
I’m sorry?
CUTE!
June 29, 2011 at 10:09 pm
1. Okay, only because you say so
2. I know. But that’s okay
2a. You’re gonna wish you never met me!
It’s from Spongebob. And it’s another new name for you, luggy babycakes
*sucks thumb*
June 29, 2011 at 10:27 pm
1. Grrrr!
2. Oh is it just?!
2a. *clutches sides as tears stream down my cheeks*
Ok, so I’m going to assume that because you’re American you don’t know. But what you called me means something quite bad in Australian slang…
OH YOU DARLING!!!!
June 30, 2011 at 3:00 am
1. I’m infuriating to you?
2. What do you mean?
2a. I don’t trust you anymore!
Oh no! I had no idea! I’m sorry lug, I heard it in spongebob and thought it sounded funny
I didn’t mean it, honest. What does it mean?
*wipes wet thumb on you*
June 30, 2011 at 8:41 am
1. You bet your arse you are!
2. Is it ok to have no meaning?
2a.
It means the same as it does in America :’D fooled you AGAIN!
CUTIE
June 30, 2011 at 8:07 pm
1. Leave my arse alone you lug!
2. Yes
almost half of what I say is meaningless 
2a. Well I don’t!
Mark. William. Glidden. Do you EVER learn?! I’m gonna stuff a pumpkin up your ass and beat it to a pulp! And throw you in jail with Big Bertha!
*wipes wet thumb on your cheek* how cute is THAT?
June 30, 2011 at 9:35 pm
1. Never! *smacks it*
2. It is not
it’s all beautiful!
2a. But I love you
God I love you! You’re so cute
*dies of adorable overdose*
July 2, 2011 at 5:14 am
1. How about you kiss it now? *wiggles arse in your face*
2. Even my angry swearing moments?
2a. Love you too
WHAAAAAAHH? THAT WASN’T CUTE! THAT WAS NASTY AND DISGUSTING! YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO GET ANGRY AND CURSE AT ME! WHAT THE HECK CAN I DO TO RILE YOU UP ALREADY?! WHY AM I ANGRY AND YOU AREN’T????
I never met someone who thought my fucking SPIT was cute!
July 2, 2011 at 6:28 am
1. *is too busy laughing to kiss*
2. They’re the most meaningful of all
2a. *smooches*
I meant the fact that you believed me :’D
I think you’re adorable!
July 2, 2011 at 9:58 pm
1.*stuffs butt in your face, hoping you accidentally kissed it*
2. Because I’m at my most…colorful?
2a.*swoons*
But I threatened to stuff a pumpkin up your butt! Don’t you know how big pumpkins are? Do you even have pumpkins in Australia?! Because if I actually did that, you’d never be able to move again!
Even my spit?! You’re a creep. A Gableish creep
July 2, 2011 at 10:22 pm
1. *pretty much dies laughing*
2. Yes :’D
2a. *smooches again*
No Sarah, we don’t have pumpkins here… You dimwitted dame! Of course I know what a pumpkin is! But you wouldn’t be able to do anything to me with one because I’d grab you and disarm you
You love it
July 3, 2011 at 4:11 am
1.*tries to wrestle you down so I can sit on your face*
2. Wasn’t that funny!
2a. Stop it!
Well, how am I supposed to know?! I’ve been trying to learn as much as I could about the Land Down Under for the past two weeks but it’s obviously not working! I’m still dumb! :’( and don’t even think of touching me after that crack!
Yes I do, you little wiseass!
July 3, 2011 at 6:36 am
1. *tears of laughter stream down my face*
2. Was too!
2a. *smooches again*
You aren’t
things here are pretty much the same as where you are, culturally. Except some of the language is different.
*cuddles*
July 3, 2011 at 10:02 am
1.*sits on said face*
2. If you say so
2a. I said STOOOPPPP
I thought Australia was all wilderness and deserts and beaches, not pumpkinville! But that’s pretty dumb to say also
*snuggles*
July 3, 2011 at 12:48 pm
1. *lifts you up and carries you to a couch. Drops you on it* Now that’s quite enough of that my girl! *kisses*
2. I do say so my darling
2a. Never! *smooches*
It pretty much is all wilderness and desert! About a third is uninhabited!
*kisses little angel*
July 3, 2011 at 8:35 pm
1.*is subdued*
2. Because I’m funny?
2a.*runs away and hides*
I’m right? HUZZAH!
*softly kisses back*
July 3, 2011 at 8:58 pm
1. You must stay there until you have calmed down. *sits on armchair and reads evening newspaper*
2. You are quite the comedienne!
2a. The game’s afoot! *chases*
It’s inhabitated by roving “tribes” of Aboriginal miscreants who attack travellers unless they give them things. In one Northern city, the army had to go in to bring order because the largely Aboriginal populace were running amok. It was like that Tortuga city in the days of the pirates or a town in a Western movie. There was drunkenness on a HUGE scale, violence, rape, prostitution, drug use, and all that sort of stuff. Then the liberals started comparing the then Prime Minister to Hitler! Simply because the local police weren’t doing ANYTHING to stop any of it, so the army had to.
*holds you in my arms* it would be impossible for me to love you more than I do *kisses*
July 4, 2011 at 1:22 am
1.*crawls out of chair when you aren’t looking and pokes head out from under the paper* peek-a-boo!
2. So are you
but you’re a comedian, not a comedienne 
2a. Betcha can’t find me!
The Aborigines are the Australian version of the gangs and the mafia here
you’ve got some lawlessness going on!
My love for you never ends *kisses back*
July 4, 2011 at 9:00 am
1.
*kisses*
2. I’m more of a wit
2a. *fires pistol in the air to frighten you*
Oh there’s a mafia. In Sydney and Melbourne there’s the Russians, Albanians and Eyetalians. As well as the local gangs.
*smooches passionately*
July 5, 2011 at 9:02 am
1.*takes newspaper, crumples it into a ball, throws it away, and sits on your lap*
2. I’m a wit too!
2a. You forget where I come from
You’ve got a lot of crime going on! You practically live in Brooklyn!
Wow, I said a pretty corny line in that last comment
July 5, 2011 at 9:46 am
1. *wraps arms around your waist*
2. A half of one :’D
2a. Grrr!
Not in Tasmania. If someone steals a bucket it gets on the front page of the papers and reported as a crime wave.
It’s beautiful like you <3
July 6, 2011 at 8:57 am
1.*looks deeply into your gorgeous blue eyes*
2. CLEVER.*rolls eyes*
2a. Being from the same hometown as Al Capone just gave me its one and only benefit!
Lol I want to live there so badly! If only crime was always that innocent!
You’re corny
but oh, how I love it! 
July 6, 2011 at 9:33 am
1. *moves in to smooch you as camera pans to the window so the kiss is only implied and not shown so the Legion of Decency don’t cut the scene*
2. *gasps for breath in between hysterics*
2a. MOLL!
My friend hit someone and was charged with assault, only to be let off because the police lost her paperwork…
I’m a romantic. I want to read sonnets and love poems to you.
July 6, 2011 at 10:09 am
1. LAWL
you had this all thought out!
2. You ain’t funny!
2a. Yeah. I won’t deny it, since that would be a lie.
Well, Casey Anthony was declared Not Guilty. I don’t know if you’re familiar with that case, but I can’t believe it!!!! The American justice system humiliated itself by doing that.
I would love it if you did
you’re unleashing my inner romantic; there are just so many songs that remind me of you 
July 6, 2011 at 2:54 pm
1. Yup
*smooches for real*
2. I am too
2a. You’re like Baby Jean in “The Public Enemy”.
I don’t know who that is, but I do know who OJ Simpson is which tells me a lot about your justice system
There are so many that remind me of you also my love.
July 6, 2011 at 7:41 pm
1.*gives you a sweet face* some more?
2. Yes you are
2a. Obsessed
It’s exactly the same, except with a young mother who murdered her three year old daughter. In Hollywood, I saw the OJ Simpson bridge
Can ya tell me some?
July 6, 2011 at 8:57 pm
1. *smooches passionately*
2.
2a. I’m infatuated with YOU!
She murdered her daughter?! D:
“Ring of Fire” by Johnny Cash, “I’ll Always Love You (Day after Day)” by Dean Martin, “Always Wanting You” by Merle Haggard, “Bad Things” by Jace Everett (
)
July 6, 2011 at 11:54 pm
1.*is now a happy camper*
2. You’re everything that’s good
2a. I’m infatuated with me too!
Yes, and it’s not funny! It’s heartbreaking
Ooooh I gotta hear the Bad Things one. It came with a wink!
July 7, 2011 at 6:42 am
1.
cutie!
2. You’re everything that’s wonderful!
2a. I don’t blame you!
I know it is darling hence the D:
hehehe
July 7, 2011 at 9:49 am
1.*tries to click heels in the air but accidentally trips self and falls at your feet*
2. You’re everything that’s perfect
2a. Haha I was only kidding. I’m infatuated with you and only you <3
Ohh it's a sad face! I thought it was an upside down happy face :/
I had to go into hiding a little bit after that one!
July 7, 2011 at 1:13 pm
1. *catches you* careful there little one!
2. *taps packet of cigarettes* are you sure about that?
2a.
darling! *smooches*
Sarah! Do you think I’m heartless?!
Hahahaha
July 7, 2011 at 9:32 pm
1. Hahaha that just reminded me of the time P4 “George of the Jungle-d” down the stairs at school :’D which then reminds me of the time she fell of the step during aerobics :’D
2. You’re lucky you get away with that. Usually smoking is a MAJOR, MAJOR turnoff for me, but I love you so much, I think I can forgive it
2a.*kisses again*
Uhhhhhhhhh……
The balmy 90 degree heat was no help either
July 7, 2011 at 10:28 pm
1. Poor old P4! How embarrassing for her!
2. I smoke elegantly though. Except for when I’m multi-tasking then I let it droop twixt my lips.
2a. *cuddles into you*
:’(
It’s freezing here
July 13, 2011 at 2:04 am
1. I was laughing hysterically in her face :’D and then there was the time when her religion teacher saw her in her boxers :’D
2. What you’re doing to your body when you smoke is anything BUT elegant.
2a.*holds you close*
I was only joking!
Oh how I wish for the cold!!! I live for that weather. I love winter and snow and sub-zero temperatures
I’m not sweaty, my hair doesn’t frizz, I’m not unevenly tanned, my makeup doesn’t run, my skin is clear, and I look best in hats and furs 
July 13, 2011 at 7:43 am
1. :’D she’s a regular Lucille Ball!
2. *blows smoke in Carole’s face* :’D
2a. I love you
:’( you weren’t
I seem to always be wearing a hat lately! But my favourite coat has a hole in the pocket
July 13, 2011 at 9:51 am
1. No! I’m Lucille Ball!
wait till you see all the antics you’ll get caught up in when you come to visit!
2.*coughs in your face, walks out, and locks self in my room*
2a. I love you too
I was too! I put a wink ay the end of that sentence, it means I was joking. One of the many, many, many reasons why I love you is because you have a good heart.
Yay! Hat buddies!
Can you sew the hole?
July 13, 2011 at 1:05 pm
1. Ok, ok YOU’RE Lucille Ball! She can be Mary Tyler Moore.
2. *feels bad and knocks on your door*
I know darling I was trying to score a point. I love you because you’re you <3
Nope it's huge
I shall have to pay for it to be repaired 
expenditure expenditure!
July 13, 2011 at 7:26 pm
1. YAY!!!
2. No! Don’t come after me now!
Awww honey, thank you so much
You know what I always say…shopportunity!
July 13, 2011 at 9:17 pm
1. I’ll be a guest star
2. *continues to knock*
You’re welcome little one
Easy for you to say Miss Millions!
July 14, 2011 at 10:06 am
1. You’ll be my Desi Arnaz
2.*mumbles incoherently*
Luh-v you
Geez, I’m nawt Miss Millions! I’m Miss Middle Class Who Buys Things That Look Like A Million Bucks But Really Aren’t! I live in a little Brooklyn tenement! So STAAHHP. Besides, how much can one coat POSSIBLY cost? They’re not billions of dollars!
July 14, 2011 at 11:14 am